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This. I may look better on the outside, but my emotions are still a mess. I’m completely drained. It’s not just about your sister, Karin, there are so many other things that I’m dealing with.”“I’ll listen if you want to tell me,” Karin said. “Please let me help you.”I considered whether I should open up to her. She was young, even younger than Sofia. Was it right to pour all the pent-up emotion out here, to her? On both my visits, Karin had offered support without asking for anything in return, simply by being by my side. Yes, she had twice offered herself to me, but it had been done in a subtle, loving way that asked for nothing.I struggled with the situation because every time I looked at Karin, I saw Birgit. When she spoke, I heard Birgit. When she touched me, I felt Birgit touch me. That was part of why I had sent her away — being with Karin needed to be about Karin, not about Birgit, and I couldn’t separate them.Now, Karin was offering to listen, to help. Sending her away. Nothing was said but over time he came to believe they knew the trouble their parents marriage had been in before Duncan ever came on the scene. And since his presence in Boise had been supportive of both Gerry and Helen there didn’t seem to be any bad vibes between the kids and him. Then things changed. He let his mind drift back those short years before. ** It was eight months after his return from Boise that Duncan returned from his morning stroll around Green Lake to find a message on his answering machine. Helen had called to tell him that unless he called by 10 that morning she would be leaving in her BMW, heading for Seattle. She expected to be there in two days. Helen asked if he could put her up while she was in town. Since it was nearly 11 AM it was too late to call and stop her coming. Not that there would ever be a chance of Duncan ever doing that! As if his calling and asking her to stay away was ever a possibility. Her timing worried him, April was a bad month to be.
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